发信人: WangLimin (王利民), 信区: Utah
标 题: Mock Interview on Vice President Mike Pence
关键字: Vice-Presidential Debate,Interview,Joke,Mike Pence,Kamala Harris
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Oct 8 11:48:06 2020, 美东)
Mock Interview on Vice President Mike Pence
by Limin Wang
Last night, VP Mike Pence and Dem VP candidate Kamala Harris were having a
debate at Salt Lake City, Utah. Viewers became crazy about Pence, mainly
because of a fly. So afterwards, I, as the Anchor of the tabloid news People
's Voice, called Pence for a minute interview.
Me: Good morning, Vice President, it's Wang from People's Voice, thanks for
picking up the call.
Pence: Hi. Is it about Nobel Prize?
Me: No, sorry, it's not about the Dynamite Prize. [pause] Did you mean you
or Trump has just won a Nobel Prize?
Pence: Trump let me stay awake every night these days. I was on high alert
about the Medicine and Chemistry ones.
Me: Please accept my condonences on these Nobel Prizes. Is that the reason
why you had a pink eye during last night's debate?
Pence: Yeah, but not a "pink" eye, it's a red eye, please be color-sensitive
or color-conscious. Our Republicans' symbol color is red, not pink as the
mixture of red and blue. please be politically aware.
Me: Ok. You are welcome to vent whatever you have to to me, since you seemed
to have been tortured publicly by two women. Did Karen hit you on your head
later last night?
Pence: Why my wife would hit me on my head?
Me: You didn't browse your phone or watch any TV after the debate?
Pence: No. Trump told me "Great Job!" and then I fell asleep like a log.
Me: It's better later than never. Let me tell you. People were crazy about
you, sorry, people were crazy about a house-fly landing and napping on your
hair for tens of minutes during the VP debate.
Pence: Fake news?
Me: Really real.
Pence: Then, my hair is a pure white thing, a whiter and whiter thing, easy
to attract little black things like a house-fly. When a little black thing
is on a big white thing, it becomes an obvious thing. As long as the little
black thing DID NOTHING, benevolent or harmful to the big white thing, my
neurological circuit of sense-motor wouldn't even start...
Me, interjecting: Vice President, too much to my level of understanding. Can
you please tell the truth, nothing but truth, whether you had sensed
anything about that house-fly last night?
Pence: Let me go back on the prior question. When I heard a weak buzzing, I
thought it was coming out of Senator Kamala Harris' mic, I thought it would
be statistically impossible it had actually been a little black thing
sleeping and then waking up on my perfect white hair...
Me: Vice President, I have to go now. It's Senator Kamala Harris' time now.
She has been calling me a few times during this minute interview already.
How the hell Demos would be proactive in what? Bye, Mike.
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